How to Talk to Kids About Big Feelings

You know that look—a tiny face crumpling under the weight of a feeling too big for their little body. One moment they’re laughing, the next they’re sobbing into your shoulder. And all you want to do is help… but you’re not sure how to start.

The truth is, kids don’t always have the words for what they feel. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling it with their whole heart. Whether it’s grief, fear, excitement, or anger, those emotions are real—and they need us to help them name and navigate them.

1. Start by Noticing Without Judgment

Sometimes kids act out because they don’t know what’s going on inside them. If your child throws a toy or bursts into tears for “no reason,” try saying something like, “It seems like you’re feeling really frustrated right now. Want to talk about it?” You’re not scolding, you’re inviting. That moment of curiosity can open the door to connection.

2. Use Simple, Honest Language

Big emotions don’t need big words. In fact, the simpler, the better. Try saying:

• “It’s okay to be sad when someone we love is gone.”

• “You’re safe now. That was scary, wasn’t it?”

• “Sometimes I feel angry too. Let’s take a breath together.”

Keep it real. Kids can smell phony reassurance a mile away.

3. Create a Safe, Calm Space

Kids process better when they feel safe. You don’t have to fix everything right away. Just being present—sitting on the floor, holding their hand, rubbing their back—can be the bridge they need to move from chaos to calm. If emotions start running high, take a step back, and focus on connection over correction.

4. Use Stories as Tools

Books can say what our mouths sometimes fumble. A gentle story with characters facing hard things can give children language for what they’re feeling—and let them know they’re not alone. That’s why I created the My Family series. These books help little ones understand grief, disability, adoption, and more… all through soft illustrations and age-appropriate words.

5. Model Naming Your Own Feelings

Let your kids hear you name your emotions. Say:

• “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today, so I’m going to take a short break.”

• “I was really proud of myself for trying something new—even though I was nervous.”
  When kids see grown-ups express emotions in healthy ways, they learn to do the same.

6. Be Patient—It’s a Process

Helping kids with big feelings isn’t a one-time talk. It’s a lifelong conversation built on love, presence, and trust. There will be messy days. That’s okay. Just keep showing up.

💛 Ready for More Tools to Help Your Child?

If you’re looking for books that help children understand tough emotions and family changes, check out my My Family series on Amazon. These stories are written with heart, illustrated with care, and created to help little ones feel safe, seen, and supported.

👉 Browse the My Family Books on Amazon

Because every child deserves to know that their feelings matter—and so do they.